


The Ghosts we see at Night

by WolfMadeFromAsh



Category: Sterek - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Derek Feels, Derek Hale Loves Stiles Stilinski, Derek kills Kate Argent, Emotional, Getting Together, Hurt Stiles, I'm Sorry, Kate Argent Dies, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Marriage, Protective Derek, Sheriff Stilinski Feels, Stiles Feels, Stiles Stilinski Loves Derek Hale, Stilinski feels, Wedding, full shift derek, sterek, sterek feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-15 22:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21025739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfMadeFromAsh/pseuds/WolfMadeFromAsh
Summary: Beacon Hills has a protector lurking in the woods; a black wolf who’s been seen every now and then, despite there being no other wolves in California. He protects hikers and runner from the threats they don’t even see, never looking for anything in return. People only catch a glimpse of black fur or blue eyes, glowing in the trees; he’s become a legend told around the campfire, speculation whether he even really exists or how long he’s been there.His howls fill the night, stilling the forest around him as the creature in the woods listen to him mourn. He sounds broken and lost, people hear the sounds echoing through the trees and they all wonder what happened to him? Why doesn’t he leave?The stories are all far better than the truth. The stories make him seem like some mystical creature, a phantom in the woods.Not a man who only one year ago lots the person he loved most in the world.





	The Ghosts we see at Night

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [TeenWolf FanArt: Winter Howl](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/550333) by NinaKask. 

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am SO sorry. I will warn you now, I cried writing this. I had to pause for like 10 minutes and start the post for it before I finished. I'm a terrible, horrible person and I hate myself for this. But I got the idea after seeing a piece of fan art and I just...
> 
> Before you read on, if you are going through a loss right now or are still dealing with one you may not want to keep going. There is a focus on loss, and the events around a funeral. So I caution you, it may not be easy to read.

_Beacon Hills has a protector lurking in the woods; a black wolf who’s been seen every now and then, despite there being no other wolves in California. He protects hikers and runner from the threats they don’t even see, never looking for anything in return. People only catch a glimpse of black fur or blue eyes, glowing in the trees; he’s become a legend told around the campfire, speculation whether he even really exists or how long he’s been there._

_The truth is, he’s lived in Beacon Hills all his live, leaving for a time after he’d thought he lost everything. Only to come back and loose more._

_His howls fill the night, stilling the forest around him as the creature in the woods listen to him mourn. He sounds broken and lost, people hear the sounds echoing through the trees and they all wonder what happened to him? Why doesn’t he leave?_

_As dawn, he leaves the woods and trots up the steps to a house, the same house every morning where he’s let inside by a man who quite possibly is more broken then him. For a time, the man told him, begged him almost, to change. But the wolf couldn’t face the man as a human, not ever again. It was easier to be there in this form. It would hurt them both too much to come to him as a human; eventually the man understood and let it go.. _

_So, he let the wolf in every night, giving him a warm place to sleep and a meal he didn’t have to hunt._

_He’d leave, if not for this man._

_The boy he lost, wouldn’t be happy if he left him._

_So, he stays._

_He stays, visits the man in the house, listens to the stories that told about him. _

_The stories are all far better than the truth. The stories make him seem like some mystical creature, a phantom in the woods._

_Not a man who only one year ago lots the person he loved most in the world._

\-----

Derek should have expected it, he really should have; things were just going too well. He was happy and in a good place, he’d found his pack and a family and he was in love.

He hadn’t expected to fall for the scrawny kid with moles and freckles speckled across his face and neck; he was always drawn to his neck. He refused to think about the way he made him feel, about the way his wolf seemed to respond to him. Pushing him against the door in his room was more an excuse to get close to him, to take in his scent, then it was a true act of aggression.

Mexico changed him, physically and mentally; he thought he was going to die, he sent him into the church for his friend, for their alpha, because he couldn’t bare for him to watch him die. The boy had lost too much and he wasn’t going to watch a friend die, not again.

He had finally come to terms with his feelings for Stiles, in that moment where he was between life and death he allowed himself to love him as he watch him run in, casting one last lingering look back, to save their alpha. It would be okay, he accepted that he was in love with Stiles, accepted what his wolf had known all along. Maybe it was too late to do anything, but he never thought love was a happiness he could have.

But his wolf wouldn’t go down easy; even as he felt himself fade, Braeden calling to him and crying for him, the wolf thrashed and growled in protest. It wouldn’t let go, Stiles just ran head first into _danger_. That couldn’t happen, and _Kate_. She was there somewhere, lurking and waiting to pounce.

No, no he wasn’t going to die here, not tonight.

His wolf clawed its way to the surface, ripping and tearing at him from the inside; he felt like his body was on fire, every bone breaking and twisting until he was standing on four legs.

He could smell Kate now, even though the rotting stench of the berserkers and the heavy smoke hanging in the air. He knew where she was, so he jumped. Even with his new strength, she got away.

Derek needed some time to figure things out, he _thought_ he needed time, so he got in the car with Braeden and gave Stiles one last look; the wolf inside him whined the entire time, trying to scratch to the surface again and run back to the boy he was leaving behind.

Three nights later he was climbing into Stiles window.

He wasn’t in his room when he slipped in through the window; the air was tinged in sadness, looking to the bed, Derek saw small spots on the pillow where Stiles’ had let his tears fall. He sat on the bed, his hand smoothing over the pillow.

“Derek?” Stiles had whispered from the doorway.

“I never said good-bye.” Derek said, looking at the pillow his hand rested on. Stiles stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He could hear the clicking in his throat as he swallowed.

“So, you came back just so you could say good-bye.” Stiles’ voice stayed quiet, sounding disappointed and a little angry. “Well, good-bye I guess.” Derek looked up to him, his eye soft and expression open; Stiles’ heart thumped loudly in his chest.

“Please don’t tell me you’re leaving again.” Derek almost didn’t hear him.

“Stiles.” He stood up, taking a step towards Stiles in the center of the room, bringing his hands up to Stiles’ arms.

Stiles griped Derek’s shirt and pulling him closer, wrapping his arms around him. “Please don’t leave me again.” He mumbles against his shoulder.

Derek can smell the salt of his tears as they roll down his face and absorb into his shirt. The wolf brings his arms around him, his finger carding through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere Stiles.”

“Promise.”

Derek turns his head, pressing a kiss to Stiles’ temple. “I promise. I won’t ever leave you; I’m here as long as you want me.”

Stiles presses his face into Derek’s neck, clutching at his shoulders. “Guess you’ll be around for a while then.”

“I can live with that.”

Stiles gently nudges Derek toward his bed, turning to pull him down next to him. Derek smiles against Stiles’ mouth when he kisses him.

“You came back because of me.”

“You’re very clever.” Derek tells him, nipping at his jaw.

“Just say it.”

“Only if you tell me how much you missed me.”

“I barely noticed you were gone.”

Derek scoff, nosing under Stiles’ chin. “What had you crying every night?”

“Shut up. Werewolf nose is just cheating.”

“Say it.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, pushing Derek on his back dragging his lips up his neck. “I really, _really_ missed you. And _yes_, I may have shed a _few_ tears.” He rested his head on Derek’s shoulder, the man wrapping his arm around him securely. “But only a few.” He muttered. “You’re turn.” He told him tiredly.

Derek smiled into Stiles’ hair, letting his eyes fall shut. “I came back because of you.”

“I knew it.”

That was it, Derek was finally home with the one person he loved most in the world feeling safe for the first time in a lone time. It was all falling into place for him; Scott was only pissed at him for leaving and upsetting his best friend for a couple hours, quickly getting over it when he saw how happy Stiles was cuddling to Derek’s side. The sheriff only lightly threatened him, but Derek assured him that he wasn’t going to disappear in the night or even be the cause of Stiles’ crying.

He might have broken that promise to him a few years later, after Stiles’ 20th birthday and he’d asked him to marry him.

Things were _good_, for once in Derek’s life and it was something he had given up on years ago. After bad thing to happen in his life, he finally had something good.

He had his pack, his family; Cora even moved back to Beacon Hills, dragging a love-struck Isaac behind her. He got to sit and plan out his wedding with Stiles, his sister at his side and the sheriff smiling fondly at them, tearing up when Derek said he wanted May 19th to be their wedding date; Claudia’s birthday. Stiles insisted they pick another date, but Derek had heard him mention the date when he still had his 5-year plan with Lydia.

He knew it meant a lot to him.

“But you have a mom too.” Stiles told him, wiping at his eyes.

Derek had rubbed his arms, smiling softly at him. “Yes, and she’d be happy that the date falls on a full moon. The same full moon she and my father got married.”

Stiles looked up at Derek, making a small broken noise. “So, t-they’re included.”

Derek cupped Stiles’ face, brushing away his tears with his thumb. “Yes, Stiles. The full moon falls on your mother’s birthday this year and my parents were united together under the Flower Moon.”

Stiles choked a laugh out. “Flower Moon.”

“Kind of fitting.”

“Laura. We need to have Laura there too.” Stiles looks to Derek then his father and Cora frantically.

Cora holds up her laptop, a beautiful bouquet of peonies on the screen. “That’s why I was going to suggest peonies for the center pieces. You’re such a sap, I knew you’d want her there somehow; they were her favorite and they happen to be in season in May.”

“I’m not a sap.” Stiles mumbles, sniffing and swiping the back of his hand over his nose.

Derek wraps his arms around him, kissing his cheek. “Yes, you are, and I love you even more for wanting our families there with us.”

By February everything was planned and ready, they just had to keep marking the days off the calendar; months between the planning and the actually wedding were a true test of Stiles’ patients.

On May 19th, just as the full moon reached its highest point in the sky, Derek waited under the hand build alter he made, with intricately carved wolves and triskelion’s and a boy at the center, running with his pack. He stands there, Isaac to his left as his best man and Cora to his right to perform the ceremony. His suit is a simple black 3-piece with a deep red vest beneath his jacket.

Soft music begins to play from the trees and Stiles steps into view.

Derek’s heart stops beating for just a moment, his eye gazing down the aisle as their friends and family all stood for him. Stiles moves forward, stepping into the soft glow of fairy lights hanging from the trees, dressed in a deep red suit with a black vest; a negative print of Derek’s own.

He was an idiot to not have faith in Lydia, he thought that red was too much, too bold. But looking at Stiles, stepping closer, reaching his father to give him a great big hug, he was just breath taking.

Derek glances at Lydia, standing beside Scott on the other side of the alter, her expression smug despite the glistening in her eyes. He smiles at her, nodding once before looking back at his fiancé.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Stiles quips, trying to keep his tone light but Derek can smell the swirl of emotions coming off him.

It takes everything in the wolf not to grab him and just _take_ him. Derek closes his eyes, feeling the slight loss in control creeping up on him, and takes a calming breath before reaching out and taking Stiles’ hand.

“You look incredible.” He whispers, leaning in to brush his lips against Stiles’ cheek.

“I _do_ clean up pretty well, huh?”

Derek rumbles deep in his chest, his eyes flashing blue before fading to hazel again. Stiles swallows, arousal now blending in with the other emotions of love and adoration.

“Okay!” Cora claps her hands together. “These two are about two seconds from doing something that should be done behind closed doors.”

“Cora.” Derek groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What? Not everyone’s a werewolf, didn’t seem fair not to clue the others in; looking at you Mr. S.” Cora grins pointing at the sheriff.

Noah just groan, putting his face in his hand. “Thank you, Cora but I would have been fine not knowing that information.”

Cora waves him off as if she doesn’t believe him. “Let’s get started, hm?” Cora looks around, smiling when her eyes settled back on the two men in front of her.

“I am honored to have been asked to preform today’s ceremony and join my big brother, Derek, and the 147 pounds-”

“Excuse you, I’ve been working out and hit a growth spurt junior year. I’m now 185 pounds of pale skin and _muscle_. Thank you very much.”

“I can confirm that.” Derek tosses out with a sly smirk.

“Ew.” Cora twists her face. “Gross.”

“Sarcasm is still his only defense though.” Scott interjects with a grin.

“Dude.” Stiles says with a pout. “Not cool. That’s it, you’re out. Go sit with your mom; Lyds, you’re up.”

“Hey!” Scott whines, shoving Stiles’ shoulder.

“_Scott_, you’re in a wedding. Behave!” Melissa scolds, glaring you at her son.

Derek laughs, snaking arm around Stiles. “This is a disaster.”

Stiles grins over at him, his eyes sparkling with joy. “This is _us,_ babe.”

Cora shakes her head and clears her throat loudly, getting herself and everyone else back on track.

“As I was _saying_! I’m honored to join Derek and Stiles today in holy matrimony. As I mentioned before this thing went off the rails, Derek is my big brother; I lost him for a while there, after tragedy struck our family. I thought I was alone. But I heard of a Hale rising up and reclaiming our territory; a new Alpha here in Beacon Hills. Before I could find out who else had survived I was taken hostage by an alpha pack. My brother saved me, like he had so many times when I was little. He stood there, holding myself and our friend Boyd,” Cora pauses, sharing a sad smile with her brother. “Back, taking the beating himself so we didn’t rip each other apart or worse, kill an innocent person. My eyes,” She lets her eyes shine gold for a moment. “Are still gold and I have my brother to thank for that. With all the bad things that have come our way, Derek had given up on being happy. He’ll tell you that he just never thought it was something he needed to focus on. But I know, he was afraid. He was afraid to let someone in and lose them like we lost everyone else. I am thankful for you, Stiles. For the joy you’ve brought into my brother’s life, for being there and loving him back, for taking him as he is; flaws included. You didn’t try to change who he was, but you helped him find his way back to who he used to be. You’ve gotten him to open up again; he smiles more and laughs endlessly. I’ve gotten my brother back completely now that he has you. With that said,” Cora turns her gaze to Derek with a gentle smile, wiping at a tear falling from her eye. “Do you, Derek Samson Hale, take, and I hope I say this right cause I’ve been practicing, Mieczyslaw _Stiles_ Stilinski-”

“Amazing.” Stiles cuts in with a big, encouraging grin.

“To be your husband? To love and cherish? To trust with every piece of you, until the moon no longer calls to you?”

Derek turns to Stiles, taking both of his hands in his. “I do, and even thereafter.”

“And do you, Mieczyslaw _Stiles_ Stilinski, take Derek Samson Hale to be your husband? To love and cherish? To trust with every piece of you, until the moon can longer calls to you?”

“God, you have no idea how much I do. After the moon and sun no longer reach the sky, even after the earth fades away. I’ll love you forever.”

Derek makes a broken sound in the back of his throat. “Stiles…”

He leans forward, Stiles’ eyes sparkling, a grin splitting across his face. He opens his mouth, but the only sound that comes is a choked gasp.

Derek’s eyes go wide as he watches Stiles buckle and fall toward the ground, he takes him in his arms and follows him to his knees. His eyes frantically looking him all over, confused by what just happened.

_What just happened?!_

A commotion that breaks out all around him, snarling and yelling and screaming – its Lydia, _Lydia_ is screaming.

Someone touches his shoulder, someone’s talking to him but he still doesn’t understand what’s happening.

Why is he on the ground? Why are Stiles’ eyes closed? Where is his heartbeat?

There’s no heartbeat.

“_Kate-_”

Derek hears someone growl the name. His head snaps up, Stiles laying unmoving in his lap. His eyes burning ice blue, he looks through the crowd that’s protecting him, protecting Stiles.

He sees her. Her eyes gleaming green, her face twisted in a sneer.

Derek slowly stands, gently setting Stiles to the ground. No one stops him, no one is able to though he feels hands grabbing for him as he moves. He leaps over the rows of people with their weapons drawn and the werewolf’s are poised for attack. He shifts in one fluid motion landing on four paws, shocking Kate as if she’d forgotten what he’s capable of now. He doesn’t break his stride, bounding down the aisle toward her and jumping up, latching onto her throat before she has a second to raise her gun again, smoke still coiling around the barrel from her last shot.

It’s over in seconds.

Kate’s body lies among the trees, completely shredded beyond recognition; there’s no coming back this time. Derek stands over his kill, panting heavily, his legs shaking.

The sound of a soft sob breaks through the night, his ears twitch back. He turns and sees the guest of the wedding spread out, some on their knees, some clutching each other; the sheriff is at the alter, his body arched over Stiles.

_Stiles._

Derek runs, moving from paws to feet in the blink of an eyes. “Stiles!” He calls, running over. Cora tries to stop him, Isaac moves to block him.

“Derek,” Cora’s voice is broken, she’s crying.

_Why is she crying?_

Derek pushes past them, dropping beside the sheriff. “Stiles.” He whispers, reaching a shaking hand out. The sheriff gazes up, a haunted look in his eyes, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face. “No. No, no there’s…he isn’t…” His chest is tightening, everything feels like it’s closing in around him. His eyes rake over Stiles’ body, but there’s no sign of injury. He can’t _see_ any injury. “There’s no blood.” He says weakly.

The sheriff pulls Derek into a tight embrace. “H-he’s go-gone.”

“But…t-there’s no blood. There’s no blood.” His argument is weak, but he can smell it now; the metaling tang reaching the back of his tongue. He knows why he can’t see any blood, the suit he’s wearing hides its. He turns to his almost husband, eyes filling with unshed tears. He’s numb to everything around him; he can sense Cora coming to his side, she’s saying something but Derek can’t hear her.

“We aren’t even married yet.” Derek said, his voice weak and broken. He lets Cora pull him into a tight embrace, he clings to her and lets himself cry, his face buried in her neck.

The world around him begins to fade away.

It’s hard being near anyone for a few days, he struggles to get out of bed not wanting to face anyone; not wanting to see the looks his pack throws him, unable to look at his almost father-in-law. Noah’s told him that he and Stiles were married, he doesn’t care if it was officially announced or not; that’s all Stiles wanted and he wanted that for his son. Being around the man who shares so many things with Stiles, the sound of his voice, his mannerisms, its too painful.

He just wants to run, run and leave Beacon Hills behind forever; but he could never leave Stiles’ father, not now. He just needs time.

The funeral is…big.

It seems as though everyone in the county has come to pay their respects; Derek suposes it makes sense considering Noah is the county sheriff. But he doesn’t know any of them beside the pack and he was sure none of them ever even spoke a _word_ to Stiles.

It feels wrong.

He sits beside the sheriff near the front of the room, even though he feels like he doesn’t belong there. Noah introduces him to everyone as Stiles’ husband and all Derek can think is that Stiles was killed before their ceremony was over, they never finished their vows, there were still things they’d written to say to each other; they _weren’t_ married.

It becomes too much, it’s all too _much_ and Derek can’t breathe; the tie he’s wearing is choking him and he’s _hot _and Stiles looks _too_ pale, he looks _sick_ and his lips are _too_ red and that’s not right at all! And he’s in a suit, he _hates_ suits, he doesn’t wear them and it’s a gray suit, he _hates_ gray.

He should be comfortable, if he’s going to be in that box for the rest of time, he should be _comfortable_. He belongs in his favorite jeans with the hole below the right knee and the rip in the left back pocket. He should have on a t-shirt and his red flannel, its soft and worn and has holes in in but he refuses to get rid of.

_“Adds to the charm! It’s vintage!”_

He doesn’t realize his claws have extended until Melissa comes up to him and wordlessly grabs his hand and pulls him out of the room. She takes him down a hall and up a set of stairs into an office. She closes the door and pulls Derek into a hug.

He sinks to the floor, dragging her with him and just breaks. He sobbing into her neck, tears dampening her hair, clutching at her. She just holds onto him, rubbing his back in small circles.

She doesn’t apologize, she doesn’t tell him he’ll be alright, doesn’t tell him it’ll get easier. She doesn’t lie, she just let him cry.

The sheriff comes in sometime later, likely hours later, when Derek doesn’t make another appearance. Melissa squeezes Derek’s hand, kissing his cheek before she gets up. He’s leaning back against the wall now, eye red and puffy, his head throbbing; he’s somewhat grateful for that, it’s the first thing he’s felt in days.

Noah, sits down beside him with a groan and a heavy sigh. “I’d like to go to a baseball game.” He says suddenly. Derek slowly turns to him, unable to do anything more than that. “I used to love going to baseball games, took Stiles a few times; he stopped wanting to go when he got hit with a foul ball.” Noah scoffs, recalling the memory. “Right in the face, poor kid. Gave him a black eye and everything.”

“He got me box seats for my birthday last year.” Derek’s voice is hoarse, his throat dry. “Dodgers and Mets.”

“He had got food poisoning.”

“I told him that hot dog didn’t smell right.” Derek smiles softly, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Leave it to him to doubt his werewolf fiancé.” Derek’s body goes rigid, he feels his hand trembling again. Noah wraps an arm around him and pulls him to his side, letting Derek fall into another round of sobs with his head on his shoulder. “God, he loved you so fucking much Derek.” The sheriff sniff, his voice cracking as he wraps his other arm around the wolf. “I thought Claudia was taken from me too soon, but _this_; Derek you didn’t deserve this. You’ve been through so much pain already.”

“I can’t do this.” Derek finally admits. “I can’t, Noah I _need_ him.”

“I know. I know, god I know. He was my…I don’t know how…who’s going to yell at me for eating curly fries.” Noah curls over Derek, tucking his head under his chin and crying with him at the loss of his son. “I’m going to need you Derek, okay? I need you to keep me from giving up, cause son, I’m so _damn_ close here. Stiles brought you into my life too, please don’t leave me hanging here. I’ll drown Derek.”

“Okay.” Derek chokes.

“And I’ll be here for you, yeah? Okay?” Derek nods against the sheriff’s shoulder. “Stiles will give us both hell if we stop living, so we just…we _have_ to. We can’t let him down, not now.”

“I…I…I need…_time_.” Derek pulls away from Noah, wiping at his face with the sleeve of his jacket. “I’m not leave, I won’t. But, being like this…It’s too hard.”

Noah nods, wiping at his own eyes and nose. “You’re going to shift, aren’t you?” Derek hangs his head, nodding. “But…you won’t leave?”

“I’ll stay.”

“Well, the doors open for you Derek. I always did want a dog.” Noah smiles sadly, nudging Derek.

Derek gives him a weak half smile. “I can play house pet for a while.”

“Good. That’s…that’s good.”

He goes with Noah to approve the headstone, it’s already placed where Stiles is buried. Derek walks on shaking legs toward the fresh patch of dirt, the sheriff at his side.

**Mieczyslaw ‘Stiles’ Stilinski-Hale**

**Taken before the  
Moon had time to set.**

**Beloved Friend – Beloved Son  
Beloved Husband**

Derek stagers back, eyes shooting to Noah. The man claps him on the shoulder with a small smile.

“I told you Derek, he wanted nothing more than to be your husband.”

“But we never talked about…I mean I though he’d keep his name.”

“He told me, he wanted to be a Hale. Asked me if it would be okay if he hyphenated his name. It was only right before the wedding, he had been sitting on it for awhile. I think he was worried I’d be upset. I just wanted him to be happy; the name didn’t matter to me. I know what it means to you though, and so does he.”

Noah squeezes his shoulder, giving him a nod before leaving him alone.

Derek drops to his knees, reaching out a trembling hand to trace the letters of the name carved into stone. He notices the layout, that there’s space to the right of Stiles’ name; space for him someday.

“I won’t do anything stupid.” He tells the black slab. “I promise. I know you think I will, but I won’t. Nothing reckless that will get me killed, I won’t run in to a fight without a plan. I’ll be here for your dad. I’ll take care of him; not sure how useful I’ll be for awhile but I think just being here is enough right now.” Derek sighs, placing his hand flat against the stone. “I won’t run, I won’t leave. I swear; no mater how much it hurts to be here without you, to be in that house, I won’t leave him Stiles.”

Derek stares at the rock for another minute, a tear slowly rolling down his cheek.

He stands, rolling his neck as he lets the shift corse through his body. He pressed his nose to Stiles’ name before taking off on four paws into the woods, leaving his cloths in a piled by Stiles’ grave. 

\-----

May 19th the following year, Derek’s howls; his cries, are heard throughout the town. The sheriff just leaves the back door open that night, not know if Derek will even be back. Scott wants to go to him, says that he shouldn’t be alone but Noah tells him to leave him, he needs to deal with this first anniversary on his own how he feels is right. If he wanted people around, he would be with them; he knows they’re there for him and that’s all they can do.

It’s not just the anniversary of Stiles’ death. It’s supposed to be their wedding anniversary; it’s supposed to be a day of happy memories and celebration. They’re supposed to be having a romantic dinner and eating year old cake.

Noah has a hard enough time when those two anniversaries were months apart, to have them be the same day? He can’t imagine the pain. Noah had years of anniversaries to celebrate with Claudia, Derek didn’t even get one.

So, this, no matter how much he wanted to lock Derek inside, was something the other man needed to work through on his own.

Derek ran through the forest until his lungs burned, he stays within the boundaries of the town, keeping his word to not leave even when everything in him screams for him to get away.

_Derek_.

He hears his name, whispered in the wind; a voice he hadn’t heard in a year.

_It’s okay, Der. I’m right here._

Derek spins around in a circle, his ears peaked up a low whine ripping through his throat.

_Use your other eyes._

He jumps back, icy-blue eyes wide as he watches a figure step from the shadows, only visible through the eyes of a werewolf.

_There we go._

Derek runs forward, his heart soring.

**It can’t be**.

He rushes up to the boy, _his_ boy, only to tumble forward to the ground. He hops up, ears flat back whining.

_I know, I’m sorry. I…I don’t know that we can touch._ He looks back up, the boy kneeling before him with a sad smile; his body practically see through. _I’ve missed you Sourwolf._

Derek tilts his head, tears filling his eyes; he didn’t even know a wolf could cry. **Stiles**.

_Hey, big guy._ Derek whines again, he falls to his belly, his tail thumping weakly against the ground. Stiles smiles at him, a tear rolling down his cheek. He reaches a hand up, and swipe it away. _I guess even ghosts can cry. Who knew._

**How, how are you hear?**

_I’m not sure. I’ve been…around kind of. I try to talk to you but I’ve never had any luck. _

**You can hear me?**

Stiles shrugs, sitting down in front of the black wolf. _I can always hear you._

**God, Stiles. I miss you so much.**

_I-I know._ Stiles hangs his head, pulling his legs up to his chest. _I’m so sorry this happened to you._ Stiles tells him, letting out a sob. _You lost…you lost everyone. I never wanted to be another name on that list for you._

**We…our wedding…it-**

_It was beautiful and yes, Derek we are married. We said our I do’s, I don’t care that Cora never pronounces us husbands. We. Are. Married. Until the moon no longer calls to us._

**And even thereafter.**

Stiles smiles. _After the moon and sun no longer reach the sky, even after the earth fades away._

Derek knows he can’t touch him, but he has to try. He crawls forward on his belly, inching his nose just in front of Stiles’ toes.

_I’ll love you forever._ Stiles whispers.

Derek closes his eyes, not seeing Stiles reaches a shaking hand out. He thinks it’s in his head, the feeling of long fingers raking though his think coat.

He lifts his head up, hearing Stiles’ sharp intake of breath.

_Derek._ He breaths out, his hand tightening in Derek’s fur.

**You-you’re…**

_Touching you? Yeah._

Derek leaps up, tacking Stiles to the ground. He laps at the boy’s face, laying on top of him burring his muzzle in his neck. Stiles laughs wetly, wrapping his arms around the wolf, his hands fisting in his fur.

**I can’t believe it.**

_Shift so I can hug my husbands’ human body. Please._

Derek slips off of Stiles, shifting in front of him; it’s been nearly a year since he’s been on two feet so it takes him a minute. He grunts, rolling and cracking his neck; when he opens his eyes though, Stiles is gone. He jumps up, looking around. “Stiles?” He calls to the empty forest, panic settling in the pit of his stomach.

He can still feel him though, smell him. He’s there, somewhere, just out of his eyeline. He takes a few steps toward a tree trunk, snapping his head back when he’s hit with a rock. “Stiles? What the hell. I’m not crazy, you were just here. Weren’t you?” Derek closes his eyes, inhaling a shaky breath. “This isn’t fair.” He whispers.

With another breath and a shake of his head, he’s down on all fours again, ready to head back to the sheriffs.

_Sourwolf_. Stiles calls to him, sounding frustrated and relieved.

Derek looks behind him, Stiles is sitting in the middle of the small clearing with his legs crossed. **Did you throw a rock at me?**

Stiles shrugs, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. _You were about to give up here. It’s our anniversary and you were going to just leave me. Kind of rude, babe._

Derek trots over to him, nuzzling against his cheek before plopping down in his lap. **Some anniversary; I can only see you when I’m a wolf, apparently. But you can throw rocks now, so we have that.**

_Hey, at least we’re together in some form._

**I guess.**

Stiles sits with him quietly for a while, his fingers carding slowly through his fur. _Hey, thanks_.

Derek can feel himself drifting, he blinks his eyes waking himself up more. **For what.**

_For staying here, staying with my dad. I know staying is hard, I appreciate you staying for him._

**I’d never leave him. I promised you I wouldn’t.**

_I know._

**You know?**

_Of course. I heard you, when you came to visit me at the cemetery. You said you would stay for him no matter what, you swore you wouldn’t leave him, then you shifted and ran into the woods. I know how hard it’s been to keep that promise. How much pain is here for you._

**Wasn’t exactly a _visit. _**Derek just sighed, closing his eyes and turning his head into Stiles’ stomach. **You still kind of smell like you. It’s faint, like I’m catching an old scent on the wind, but it’s there. I hoped you were around, I’d catch your scent but I’ve been sleeping in your room so I never thought anything of it.**

_I’m always around. I can’t leave you and my dad alone; are you crazy? Besides, watching you play the role of my dad’s dog is hilarious._

Silence falls between them again, the moon starts to drop in the sky, giving weigh to the rising sun.

_How much time do you think we have? You think this is like a one-time thing?_

Derek doesn’t really want to think about that, but it’s a good question. **I don’t know.**

_Should you tell dad? I don’t want you to tell him if it’s just going to hurt him._

**You not being here hurts us both.**

_Come back tomorrow, okay? If this fades soon or something? Just…come back tomorrow. If I can be here, I will be._

**I’ll be here.**

_Okay._ Stiles leans down, pressing his face into Derek’s fur. _Let’s just, let’s lay down._ Stiles lays back and Derek presses against his side, Stiles turning to rest his head on Derek’s back. _I love you, Derek Hale._

**I love you too, Stiles Stilinski-Hale.**

When Derek opens his eyes again, the sun is up and he’s alone. His heart aches, feeling the loss just as strongly as he had every other morning, but this morning there’s this glowing amber of hope in his chest. He races back to Noah’s house, catching the man as he’s headed out to work. Derek trots up to him, tongue hanging out and tail swishing back and forth.

Noah smiles down at him, scratching his head. “You were out all night. You okay?” Derek huff, pawing at the man’s feet. “Okay, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been then? First one’s always the hardest, not that any others are easy. Just gotta take it day by day. I’ll be back in a few hours, I just have to close out a couple cases, get out of the house for a bit, I’ll be back before lunch.”

As promised, the sheriff is back before lunch, his flops on the couch beside Derek with a heavy sigh. Derek shift over to rest his head in the man’s lap, he drops his hand to burry it in his thick coat. They spend the day on the couch, the sheriff occasionally crying while he hugs Derek, Derek whining along with him. It’s a rough day, and Derek is glad when it’s finally over and Noah opens the door for him and wishes him good night, telling him he’ll leave the window in the back room open.

Derek tears through the forest, startling rabbits as he goes trying to get back to the spot he had found Stiles the night before. He can smell it when he gets nears, the smell of his own grief and despair still hanging in the air.

**Stiles?** He looks around, eyes scanning every inch of the small clearing with no sign of his husband. **Stiles?** He wishes he could yell, wishes there was more than this…psychic connection between them. There’s a pit in his stomach, he flops to the ground, burying his nose under his paw. He waits an hour before he climbs to his feet and starts to walk back to Noah’s.

He can see the light from the back deck through the trees, he sighs heavily when he nears the edge of the trees. He catches a glimpse of something near the back door, his ears flatten against his head as he creeps forward. He makes it to the bottom of the stairs before leaping up, landing on the deck. He whips his head around, looking for the possible intruder and sees nothing; smells nothing.

Except…

It’s not _nothing_ that he smells.

_Hey there Sourwolf. _Derek turns to his left, Stiles is sitting on the railing smiling at him with his head tilted to the side. _I guess this wasn’t a one-time thing_.

**Stiles! **Derek hops over to him, tail wagging excitedly as if he were a puppy. Stiles hops off the railing, hugging Derek tightly.

_I know I said I’d meet you there, but I wanted to check on the old man. I think this is something I can work on. This whole ghost thing? Like maybe I can actually talk to him, or at least get you to be able to see me in both forms. You uh, you up for helping me?_

**How’s that even a question?**

_I was being polite._

**Since when?**

_Oh, shut up._ Stiles laughs, shoving Derek’s face. And it’s the most beautiful sound Derek’s ever heard _You sure you’re okay with a ghost for a husband?_

**I’ll take you anyway that I can.**

\-----

Derek’s lost the people he’s loved most in the world.

He was lucky enough to get his sister back, even luckier when he found a pack he fit with. Luckier still when he found a new family with the Stilinski’s.

The world was cruel again, when it stole his husband before they finished their vows. But something out there decided he deserved to have him back.

Stiles is gone from this world but Derek gets to see him every night; they walk through the woods side by side talking or sit on the couch watching movies. They’ve been able to hold hand, but only for a little while before Stiles disappears from Derek’s human eyes.

He’s told Stiles’ father, who cried when he did; he’s acted as a translator as best he can, even working as Stiles’ hands when the Sheriff picks up a steak instead of a salad.

They stroll through the forest, passing the time; sad they aren’t together how they want but grateful for this time they have.

They never see the other wolf watching them when they walk through the woods; black as night with crimson eyes, standing watch just out of sight.

Talia Hale still watched the land, protecting it in her way; giving her son a chance to see his husband again, easing that ache in his chest.

Derek Hale as lost a lot, Talia’s just trying to give him some of it back.

**Author's Note:**

> As much as this made me cry writing it, and it really did, I actually think in an odd way writing this helped me with my own issues with loss that I've had. I've been there, more times that I care to count at this point, with people who were rocks in my life. People who were everything. I've been sitting in that room, looking at my loved one thinking "this is all wrong" thinking that it can't be real. I thinking writing those exact thoughts down, while it doesn't hurt any less, has made a difference.
> 
> Again, I'm sorry


End file.
